I miss my sister.

I miss the way that the words she says
string themselves together
beautiful pearls of wisdom coming from a woman years beyond her age
and
just like that
and the world and all within it is possible again.

I miss the way that she only laughs if things are really funny.
(It's somewhere deep in her gut)
Because then you know that she really loves what you said
and isn't just taking pity on you.
(Although she does have a pity laugh, she rarely uses it at all)

I miss her strength. The way she marches out of step and others fall into
their places beside her
knowing she will only lead due south, where life is warm and welcomes you in with freckly arms.

I miss her listening face when she reads my soul, her concerned face on the days I cry, her rapt face for when she's spied a good idea in the distance and can't wait to hunt it down capture it, her crinkly-eyed joy face when the car window's down. I miss the way she really cares, I mean truly cares, how others are doing. You don't get that a lot, anywhere.

I miss her small joys in everyday living.

I miss how her presence means anything is possible and life is an adventure, not a threat. How living on minimum wage with a college degree isn't a shameful secret but a shout-out-loud-and-beat-your-breast exhuberant reward. How she can all at once make elaborate plans and lists and do extensive research for years, but she's flexible enough to drop it all if something better comes her way.

I miss Kate's ability to try anything she sets her mind to...her life is an inspiration from A-Z. She can do anything she wants to try, and she'll go everywhere she hasn't been before
(
this I know
)

I miss her
knock-down
get-real
out-in-the-open
questions that
make me dig deep and get
back on track.
She's only truly frustrated when someone loses faith in how life was supposed to be
and she's a fighter for that.

I love how she smells like smoky pine and seashore when I meet her again
and how she named her pup the name it was given

and how she can be so independant
but not forget
.

I miss her mermaid hair
her bare feet
her no-nonsense
get-over-here-for-a-real-hug
love.

I miss her.