This is simply a response to what I've felt is a common sentiment among many guys. If you've run the gambit of love notes, explanations, rants, poems, etc, in the world of facebook notes (and I've read my fair share of such posts on this thing) then I apologize ahead of time if you already know this and this is just one more facebook note on love and you're just tired of the whole schmeal. You can still back out of this one if you want, there's still time... :) Otherwise, a few thoughts...
Guys. Word has reached my ears (directly and indirectly) that you're slightly frustrated with us. I can understand that--we all have a lot to learn. BUT I've also heard rumors that some guys wish that girls 'didn't play so hard to get' or 'made themselves look more available' or 'always are looking for a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet and yanno, I'm no knight in shining armor, and they don't even exist in the first place-girls' expectations are just too high.'
Okay, where to start.
"I wish girls made themselves look more available."
You know what I mean when I say this is stupid and lame. I'll explain just to clarify: Do you want a girl who looks ready to throw herself into your arms at the first 'hello'?
'Cause back where I'm from, we call that,
'Being easy.'
*Ahem.
I'll speak for me because maybe other girls don't agree with me on this, but I loke looking nice, like being fun to hang out with, like to be social and make you feel comfortable, and will go out of my way to make you feel these things. But I will never ever drape myself across your path, try flirting outragiously to get your attention, or pose seductively to catch your eye. And I will never wear a bright green shirt to a stoplight party, or wear any shirt for that matter that screams, 'I'm single! Come make me not single!'
I mean, I don't think people pause to think about exactly what they're asking for when they make statements like that.
If a guy wants to get to know a girl more, instead of waiting for her to "look more available" (whatever that means), he should take a deep breath, gather his nerve, and be intentional about getting to know her. Suck it up and go say hi. Not wait for her to put on that green shirt. 'Cause if she's classy and serious about a real relationship, she may never wear it. And if he's real with himself, what he really wants her to do to 'make herself look more available' is to help him avoid having to get courageous and go ask himself.
As for the knight in shining armor effect: to put it simply, we want to be swept off our feet. We want to be won over. In fact, I've heard that over and over again: from my friends, from their friends, from my own heart. It rings true each time: we don't just appreciate a little romance every now and then, we need it. Our hearts need it so badly, and many girls have had to cover their ears to lessen the intensity of their hearts' pleas when they knew they weren't being romanced the way it was meant to happen. We don't want you to hang around and "just show up"...
We need candlelight.
We need to hear that we're beautiful.
We need those quirky little nots and flowers and surprises and cheesy mixed tapes.
What makes the knight isn't perfect physical prowess or knowing what to say at any given moment: it's having the courage to be there when you would rather be anywhere else. It's about being strong enough inside to have a humble attitude and put others before yourself. It's understanding where you want to go and getting there with the right motives. It's seeing the humor in life and laughing out loud, (right there!) in front of God and everyone. It's being comfortable in your skin and inviting others to be comfortable around you.
It's showing that girl that you want her so much that no one else can take your eyes away. That you won't be gone looking at someone else in a week.
That you weren't obsessed with someone else the week before.
Showing her that you are captured by her heart and only hers. Because honestly, guys, that doesn't happen a lot, and girls are far more used to just being the next in line. And how sad is that.
The human heart was not made to be trifled with, but we play some pretty stupid games anyway.
To sum everything up, love doesn't always have to be a battlefield. This is my peace offering right here. :) Until next time...
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